Here is a peek into the mysterious culture of pirates.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Enema at the Gates
This semester I'm taking a class called Cultural Exploration. The purpose of this class is to do just that, explore cultures. One of our requirements is to post on a blog at least once a week.
In June my Dad sent me an article that he described as good blog fodder. For whatever reason I slept on the article. Until now...His article and this assignment are like the stars aligning.
Behold, the Russian monument to the enema in the city of Zheleznovodsk.
A bronze enema carried by angels. I've dreamed of things like this.
Can you imagine something like this ever going up here in the States? It would never happen.
Someone would complain about the very idea of the monument being "in poor taste."
Someone else would complain that enemas are impure and thus, the work of the devil.
Someone else would complain that one angel's wings are bigger than the others and ask "why can't all angels have equal wings?"
The US could learn a lesson from the bright, shiny b-holes of Russia. They just don't give a shit (zing). They have a sense of humor and like to show it off.
This monument is placed outside of a spa. If that were done over here, the spa would close in a month.
We're too uptight over here. The rest of the world doesn't get offended by everything as easily as we do.
As a culture we tend to be too "proper" in the way we publicly present ourselves. What it all amounts to is that too many Americans are simply full of shit.
If only we could all go to Russia and get that problem cleaned out.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2008/06/19/2008-06-19_enema_of_the_state_russian_spa_unveils_m.html
In June my Dad sent me an article that he described as good blog fodder. For whatever reason I slept on the article. Until now...His article and this assignment are like the stars aligning.
Behold, the Russian monument to the enema in the city of Zheleznovodsk.
A bronze enema carried by angels. I've dreamed of things like this.
Can you imagine something like this ever going up here in the States? It would never happen.
Someone would complain about the very idea of the monument being "in poor taste."
Someone else would complain that enemas are impure and thus, the work of the devil.
Someone else would complain that one angel's wings are bigger than the others and ask "why can't all angels have equal wings?"
The US could learn a lesson from the bright, shiny b-holes of Russia. They just don't give a shit (zing). They have a sense of humor and like to show it off.
This monument is placed outside of a spa. If that were done over here, the spa would close in a month.
We're too uptight over here. The rest of the world doesn't get offended by everything as easily as we do.
As a culture we tend to be too "proper" in the way we publicly present ourselves. What it all amounts to is that too many Americans are simply full of shit.
If only we could all go to Russia and get that problem cleaned out.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2008/06/19/2008-06-19_enema_of_the_state_russian_spa_unveils_m.html
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
The Circle of Life
This summer has been spent on furniture either found in the trash or bought very cheaply at a secondhand store.
We put all of that furniture in the trash yesterday.
The three new guys next door just took our couch. Beautiful.
We put all of that furniture in the trash yesterday.
The three new guys next door just took our couch. Beautiful.
...But a Memory.
Wrigley Field...Air Guitar...Lollapalooza...The Taste...Boat Tours...Weird Tours...The Bean...Boystown...Navy Pier...The Ferris Wheel...Gino's East...Air Mattresses...Breast Cancer Walks...Off The Street Club...DDB...Reggae Clubs...Sue...Art Institutes...Trash Furniture...Pride Parades...The L...Clark Street...IO...Threadless...JewelOsco
10 weeks have come and gone. I'm now sitting in my once-again-empty room here on my final night in Chicago, waiting for 4:30am to roll around so I can catch my cab to the airport.
Before taking off I have one last story to share...
This weekend has been Market Days in Boystown. Apparently it's one of the "High Holidays" of the Gay community. Halsted St. has essentially been a non-stop rave since Saturday morning. I'd avoided it all weekend, not wanting to face any more crowds after the madness that was Lollapalooza. Until tonight. Erica and Tatiana suggested we take one final walk to Cold Stone. We got down to the corner of Cornelia and Halsted and were met by a very raucous crowd of happy dancers. As I was walking by a group of them, I was grabbed by the shoulder and smacked 4 times on the ass by this man/lady.
This photo was taken during the Pride Parade in June. I instantly recognized him/her. I'll never forget that nipple.
I've walked down that street countless times this summer, never once getting even a look from one of the thousands of ridiculously-in-shape gay men. But tonight, on my final night in the city, I was spanked.
I like to think it was Chicago giving me a "good game."
It's been a fun, occasionally-frustrating adventure of a summer. I had a great job. Met some awesome people. Did and saw some things I'd never done or seen before. And I discovered an amazing city which I've completely fallen in love with and will miss.
But as much as I now love Chicago, I can't wait to step off that plane tomorrow in NOVA. I'm so psyched to come home! I wish I was staying more than just a week.
So as I wrap up this summer, I leave you with the immortal words of my boss' new boss, Jay-Z:
"No Matter Where You Go, You Are What You Are Playa."
Peace, Chicago. See you soon.
10 weeks have come and gone. I'm now sitting in my once-again-empty room here on my final night in Chicago, waiting for 4:30am to roll around so I can catch my cab to the airport.
Before taking off I have one last story to share...
This weekend has been Market Days in Boystown. Apparently it's one of the "High Holidays" of the Gay community. Halsted St. has essentially been a non-stop rave since Saturday morning. I'd avoided it all weekend, not wanting to face any more crowds after the madness that was Lollapalooza. Until tonight. Erica and Tatiana suggested we take one final walk to Cold Stone. We got down to the corner of Cornelia and Halsted and were met by a very raucous crowd of happy dancers. As I was walking by a group of them, I was grabbed by the shoulder and smacked 4 times on the ass by this man/lady.
This photo was taken during the Pride Parade in June. I instantly recognized him/her. I'll never forget that nipple.
I've walked down that street countless times this summer, never once getting even a look from one of the thousands of ridiculously-in-shape gay men. But tonight, on my final night in the city, I was spanked.
I like to think it was Chicago giving me a "good game."
It's been a fun, occasionally-frustrating adventure of a summer. I had a great job. Met some awesome people. Did and saw some things I'd never done or seen before. And I discovered an amazing city which I've completely fallen in love with and will miss.
But as much as I now love Chicago, I can't wait to step off that plane tomorrow in NOVA. I'm so psyched to come home! I wish I was staying more than just a week.
So as I wrap up this summer, I leave you with the immortal words of my boss' new boss, Jay-Z:
"No Matter Where You Go, You Are What You Are Playa."
Peace, Chicago. See you soon.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? Cause You're Terrible at Madden.
A little while back I commented on a campaign done recently by the Martin Agency. Well, I'm about to comment on another one of their spots.
This is the new viral spot for Wal-Mart's release of NFL Madden '09 and it's hilarious. Well done Martin. This thing kicks ass!
This is the new viral spot for Wal-Mart's release of NFL Madden '09 and it's hilarious. Well done Martin. This thing kicks ass!
See more funny videos at Funny or Die
Monday, August 4, 2008
Lollapaloozed
I've been in Chicago for 9 weeks. I fly back home 1 week from today. It's been a great summer in an awesome city. So I had to end it with a bang right? Well what better way to cap it all off than by 3 straight days of kick-ass live music? That's right True Believers, I went to Lollapalooza this weekend!
I went into work Friday morning until about 11am. I figured I put enough "work" for the day. So I headed down to Grant Park and entered the line to get in. After waiting about 45 minutes I got to the entrance and realized that there was no official line, I could have just walked right up. I guess people just have an affinity for order and single-filing. Once I got in, I walked to the right, towards the AT&T and MySpace stages, not exactly sure of what I would find. I got on the field just in time to catch the final song of Bang Camaro.
They closed with "Push Push Lady Lightning" their song from Guitar Hero 2. I now love this band. I never appreciated the tune on the game, but after seeing them live I've completely changed my mind. Bang Camaro is essentially a hair metal chorus. It's 2 guitars, a bass, a drummer, and (depending on the performance) anywhere between 10-20 singers. Pardon the pun, but it rocked, and it was a great way to start the weekend.
After that song (I really wish I had gotten there earlier to see more of them)I finally caught up with Tatioey and Joey's friends, Jimbo and Emma. We caught the Rogue Wave set (very good) and then, I think, split up for a bit. They went to see Yeasayer while I went to check out The Enemy, a very good modern punk band from the UK, I'm actually listening to their album right now.
After that, my life changed (not really, but holy shit...)
While the rest of my crew was off doing other things I went to see Gogol Bordello. I promise you, I've never seen a better live show. If you can show me a band with more constant energy and good vibes, and that can translate all that into their audience, I will kiss you on the mouth, no hesitation.
I knew about this Eastern-European-Gypsy-Punk band from their song "Start Wearing Purple" a few years ago, but now I'm a complete convert. They were unreal. The energy, the theatrics, the accordians, and this guy:
He had to be at least 60 years old, playing the electric violin. He had more enthusiasm on stage than 90% of the acts I saw. Even if you don't like the music (it's definitely different) go see this band live. You will have a f'n blast!
So after that I met up with everyone again at Mates of State. They were good, but GOD were they boring compared to that last show.
We closed out day 1 with an essentially lackluster performance by Bloc Party.
And then a very good show by Radiohead.
Both of those last two bands sounded great, and Radiohead had an awesome stage show, but after being so pumped up earlier by Bang Camaro and Gogol Bordello, to end the day on such a mellow note was slightly...meh.
Day 2 brought the biggest disappointments of the weekend. I went to see Steel Train and was amazed by their live show.
Their album is great with a pretty mellow, folkie sound. But the band was so frantic and energized. And they sounded even better live. They were amazing. But I was an idiot and decided to leave after only 3 songs to catch MGMT. Big mistake. MGMT SUCKED! They were soooo bad. I don't know if they were having speaker problems or what, but I love their album and to hear them be so terrible live, especially when I left a show I was blown away by just to catch their disaster, was heartbreaking.
After that I moved over to Brand New's show.
Again, a mistake. I was torn between going to see them or Explosions in the Sky. I opted for Brand New because Explosions was on the opposite side of the park and I wanted to make sure I got a good spot for Lupe Fiasco. The band sounded good but they seemed like they would have rather been anywhere else than playing for us. The lead singer kept telling the crowd that we should have gone to see Explosions. He just came across as really bitter and ruined the whole show for me.
Thank God for Lupe Fiasco.
I saw him last year when he came to VCU and he was amazing. He was just as good this time. Both times I've seen him he played with a live band, which made the shows that much better. This guy has to be my favorite MC in hip-hop right now, hands down.
Then the crowd showed up.
This is just a snippet of the field. Triple it. Insane.
Most of those people had been there all day, camping out for Rage Against the Machine. I'm not the biggest Rage fan, but I knew I had to see them live.
It's a good thing I was a ways back on the side because apparently all hell was breaking loose in the crowd. Zack De La Rocha had to stop the show 3 times to tell the crowd to take about 10 steps back because so many people were getting crushed against the railing.
Rage was awesome but there was a problem with the speakers that made the sound really muffled where we were. On the way out, we saw the funniest moment of the day. There was a couple of fire dancers. On a field with probably 80,000 people.
3 cops showed up. They just walked up to the dancer. Didn't say a word. Looked at her, she put the fire out. They walked away. Authoritay.
And thus begat Day 3.
It started with my favorite surprise of the weekend. I got there a bit earlier than the rest of my group and walked around just checking out random acts. I came upon White Lies, a band from the UK who sound like the Killers mixed with Alkaline Trio. Needless to say, I loved it.
Then I went and got real close for Nicole Atkins & The Sea. Good God that girl can sing.
After that I went with Tatioey to Chromeo. Their set rivaled Gogol Bordello on the fun meter. Those two guys put on an awesome show. And it was so obvious that they love what they do. They're just having fun, and it resonates throughout their show.
I was then amazed by the number of people who showed up to see Saul Williams. Dude probably should have been on one of the main stages.
I was psyched to see Gnarls Barkley so I made sure to get a good spot. I made my way towards the front and ended up about 3-4 bodies away from the guard rail. It was so damn crowded, but totally worth it.
They put on such a good show. I just can't stand or believe how many idiots still think Cee-Lo Green is actually named Gnarls Barkley. It's infuriating. And everyone within earshot of me committed this crime.
Once they finished, we had only 75 minutes until the main event: Kanye West. I didn't want to lose my spot nor did I have much of a choice to exit the crowd. So I spent every one of those 75 minutes on my feet completely surrounded by hot, sweaty, smelly people. I was just as disgusting. It was miserable.
But then Kanye came on and all was right with the world.
This dude is a star. He was unreal. His show was so damn good. By far the best performance of the entire festival, at least out of the ones I saw.
But I still can't decide which show I had more fun at, Chromeo or Gogol Bordello.
Holy shit, I just realized how long this is. My bad.
How was your weekend?
I went into work Friday morning until about 11am. I figured I put enough "work" for the day. So I headed down to Grant Park and entered the line to get in. After waiting about 45 minutes I got to the entrance and realized that there was no official line, I could have just walked right up. I guess people just have an affinity for order and single-filing. Once I got in, I walked to the right, towards the AT&T and MySpace stages, not exactly sure of what I would find. I got on the field just in time to catch the final song of Bang Camaro.
They closed with "Push Push Lady Lightning" their song from Guitar Hero 2. I now love this band. I never appreciated the tune on the game, but after seeing them live I've completely changed my mind. Bang Camaro is essentially a hair metal chorus. It's 2 guitars, a bass, a drummer, and (depending on the performance) anywhere between 10-20 singers. Pardon the pun, but it rocked, and it was a great way to start the weekend.
After that song (I really wish I had gotten there earlier to see more of them)I finally caught up with Tatioey and Joey's friends, Jimbo and Emma. We caught the Rogue Wave set (very good) and then, I think, split up for a bit. They went to see Yeasayer while I went to check out The Enemy, a very good modern punk band from the UK, I'm actually listening to their album right now.
After that, my life changed (not really, but holy shit...)
While the rest of my crew was off doing other things I went to see Gogol Bordello. I promise you, I've never seen a better live show. If you can show me a band with more constant energy and good vibes, and that can translate all that into their audience, I will kiss you on the mouth, no hesitation.
I knew about this Eastern-European-Gypsy-Punk band from their song "Start Wearing Purple" a few years ago, but now I'm a complete convert. They were unreal. The energy, the theatrics, the accordians, and this guy:
He had to be at least 60 years old, playing the electric violin. He had more enthusiasm on stage than 90% of the acts I saw. Even if you don't like the music (it's definitely different) go see this band live. You will have a f'n blast!
So after that I met up with everyone again at Mates of State. They were good, but GOD were they boring compared to that last show.
We closed out day 1 with an essentially lackluster performance by Bloc Party.
And then a very good show by Radiohead.
Both of those last two bands sounded great, and Radiohead had an awesome stage show, but after being so pumped up earlier by Bang Camaro and Gogol Bordello, to end the day on such a mellow note was slightly...meh.
Day 2 brought the biggest disappointments of the weekend. I went to see Steel Train and was amazed by their live show.
Their album is great with a pretty mellow, folkie sound. But the band was so frantic and energized. And they sounded even better live. They were amazing. But I was an idiot and decided to leave after only 3 songs to catch MGMT. Big mistake. MGMT SUCKED! They were soooo bad. I don't know if they were having speaker problems or what, but I love their album and to hear them be so terrible live, especially when I left a show I was blown away by just to catch their disaster, was heartbreaking.
After that I moved over to Brand New's show.
Again, a mistake. I was torn between going to see them or Explosions in the Sky. I opted for Brand New because Explosions was on the opposite side of the park and I wanted to make sure I got a good spot for Lupe Fiasco. The band sounded good but they seemed like they would have rather been anywhere else than playing for us. The lead singer kept telling the crowd that we should have gone to see Explosions. He just came across as really bitter and ruined the whole show for me.
Thank God for Lupe Fiasco.
I saw him last year when he came to VCU and he was amazing. He was just as good this time. Both times I've seen him he played with a live band, which made the shows that much better. This guy has to be my favorite MC in hip-hop right now, hands down.
Then the crowd showed up.
This is just a snippet of the field. Triple it. Insane.
Most of those people had been there all day, camping out for Rage Against the Machine. I'm not the biggest Rage fan, but I knew I had to see them live.
It's a good thing I was a ways back on the side because apparently all hell was breaking loose in the crowd. Zack De La Rocha had to stop the show 3 times to tell the crowd to take about 10 steps back because so many people were getting crushed against the railing.
Rage was awesome but there was a problem with the speakers that made the sound really muffled where we were. On the way out, we saw the funniest moment of the day. There was a couple of fire dancers. On a field with probably 80,000 people.
3 cops showed up. They just walked up to the dancer. Didn't say a word. Looked at her, she put the fire out. They walked away. Authoritay.
And thus begat Day 3.
It started with my favorite surprise of the weekend. I got there a bit earlier than the rest of my group and walked around just checking out random acts. I came upon White Lies, a band from the UK who sound like the Killers mixed with Alkaline Trio. Needless to say, I loved it.
Then I went and got real close for Nicole Atkins & The Sea. Good God that girl can sing.
After that I went with Tatioey to Chromeo. Their set rivaled Gogol Bordello on the fun meter. Those two guys put on an awesome show. And it was so obvious that they love what they do. They're just having fun, and it resonates throughout their show.
I was then amazed by the number of people who showed up to see Saul Williams. Dude probably should have been on one of the main stages.
I was psyched to see Gnarls Barkley so I made sure to get a good spot. I made my way towards the front and ended up about 3-4 bodies away from the guard rail. It was so damn crowded, but totally worth it.
They put on such a good show. I just can't stand or believe how many idiots still think Cee-Lo Green is actually named Gnarls Barkley. It's infuriating. And everyone within earshot of me committed this crime.
Once they finished, we had only 75 minutes until the main event: Kanye West. I didn't want to lose my spot nor did I have much of a choice to exit the crowd. So I spent every one of those 75 minutes on my feet completely surrounded by hot, sweaty, smelly people. I was just as disgusting. It was miserable.
But then Kanye came on and all was right with the world.
This dude is a star. He was unreal. His show was so damn good. By far the best performance of the entire festival, at least out of the ones I saw.
But I still can't decide which show I had more fun at, Chromeo or Gogol Bordello.
Holy shit, I just realized how long this is. My bad.
How was your weekend?
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