Pick(nic) Me

So the other day was the DDBChi agency picnic. All in all it was a good day. It started off with me and Hank baiting James Lou, the HEAD OF STRATEGY, into a game of bags (This bean-bag business is insane in Chicago). We won, and in the process got to hang out with the top guy in our field within the agency.

Then it was time for the pie-eating contest. They wanted an intern. They wanted Hank. Hank is a ladypart. I stepped up. So there I be, with a trashbag for a bib, staring at a half of a pie, sitting next to the President of DDBChi, Rick Carpenter. Is there a better way to meet the top guys? I submit that there is not. I lost the pie-eating contest. But I was rewarded with nausea for the rest of the day and a big ol' poo later that evening.

Finally, it was time to play flip-cup. Once they added the fourth table Hank and I were able to get spots on one of the teams. Again, we were battling the bigwigs. I had a direct one-on-one challenge with Rick Carpenter. I beat him this time.

So there ya go. Bean bags, pie, and flip-cup. That's how you network in this business.

Slow Work Day

This morning as a way to pass the time
To myself, I decided to assign
The difficult task of composing a rhyme.
How should I approach it?
Verse by verse or line by line?
Either way should work, so long as it removes me from my cubicled confines.
Past attempts at escape have included this iPod of mine,
Trying everything from the Sex Pistols to Stevie to Brad and Sublime.
Some days this is like a bad Wolf Trap rewind,
Clocks standing still, me, slowly losing my mind.
So what should this be about?
Ragamuffin, my current Chicago canine?
Or my conversation with Joey about actor, Bokeem Woodbine?
Maybe it should focus on the importance of protine.
Damn, spellcheck should have caught that,
I meant the importance of protein and...nevermind.
I could talk about the amount of time I spend online.
But I do do real work, I just finish it in a short amount of time.
Shit, I already used that one in a previous line.
Dammit! Did it again. Maybe it's time for me to resign.
But I don't leave for another 15 minutes so there's still plenty of...opportunity.
Right there, that's the signal.
At first it was fine.
But now it's just redundant and way past it's prime.
Gonna switch it up. Shuffle like Icky.
Now I need another word whose sound is just as sticky.
A word that's versatile and smooth like Kenickie.
Yeah, that's a "Grease" reference.
So my shit's kinda schticky.
This round is proving to be harder than I thought.
Time to switch it up again.
What other kinds of sounds can I get out of this pen?
Ooh, that's cool, my iPod just switched to Men, Women, and Children.
Hit the skip, strange, now it's on Bad Religion.
Enough of that, got sidetracked, but now I'm back and ready to make magic happen.
It's almost time to go.
Summer Fridays are like Heaven.
As such, I'll wrap this up, begin to pack it in.
Plus, my stomach's grumblin.
I hear a rumblin.
Probably the results of my Southern-Style Biscuit McChicken.
Well I hope you enjoyed it.
That's pretty much it.
35 minutes and 2 full pages.
I should get paid for this shit.

Feetloose

So a few days ago I read a story on CNN about a human foot that washed up on the shores of British Columbia, Canada. Today there is an update. Another foot has washed ashore. This is the sixth foot in eleven months.

I'll repeat that in case you didn't catch it.

In the last eleven months, 6 HUMAN FEET have washed ashore in Canada.

WTF, mate? Who the hell chops feet?

The best part about this whole story is how stupid the police seem to be. In the first article, one of them was quoted as saying "At first we thought it was kind of humorous, but then as more started showing up we knew it was serious." Humorous? It's a human foot. On a beach. If I found one of those I'd piss my pants. Out of fear.

I can just picture those cops, three of them standing on the beach surrounding the foot and cracking Austin Powers-type jokes. "Guess he didn't really STAND a chance?" "Poor guy couldn't OUTRUN fate." "Stupid hoser got his FOOT chopped OFF, eh." They probably took the foot and got it bronzed and hung it in their station.

Then the second one washed up. They laughed at first and then realized "shit. That's another foot. A different foot. Any way to get that bronze off, eh?"

So now that a sixth foot has shown up in less than a year, this is the theory they're working on:

They may be drowning victims. Who all lost one foot. And those feet all showed up at essentially the same time. Drowning victims.

Eh?

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/06/18/canada.feet/index.html

I Lack Originality

Ben showed this to me months ago.

Jesse already put it on his blog.

But I love it. It's funny.

Sorry guys.

Second Verse, A Little Different From the First

So this is the end of week 2. It's gotten better at DDB. I shot and cut a consumer interview video which my boss described as "F'n Stellar" and he's going to have me introduce it at this week's creative briefing. It's pretty cool. And I wrote a brief for Dollar Menu which was met with overall positive reactions.

This is the view from my floor.


GRANT PARK, HOME TO LOLLAPALOOZA 08


MILLENNIUM PARK

At the beginning of this week I went to the Chicago Blues Fest in Millennium Park. I would have put up photos sooner but taking a lot of pictures on your phone is a terrible idea.





And I found these cool fountains in the park that spit at small children.




Of course there was the Air Guitar thursday night. Enough said. Breathtaking.

And last night we all went to a reggae bar around the corner. It's called The Wild Hare and Singing Armadillo Frog Sanctuary Ltd.



That's it.

If I Were a Cat, and Curiosity Killed Me, I'd Die Happy

Last night I let curiosity and intrigue guide my thinking. I went to a place I've never been before and did something I've never done. I made my way to the Metro on Clark St.


The Metro is a venue 1/4 mile away from my apartment. It's housed such acts as Bob Dylan and Blind Melon.

But on this night it was home to something far greater, something far more powerful.



Something that, dare I say, rocked.

What was it?


THE US AIR GUITAR CHAMPIONSHIPS - CHICAGO REGION!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy shit! I can't remember a more awesome night!

It started around 8. I got to the Metro ready for anything. The show was scheduled to start at 9pm. So of course 9:15 rolled around and we were all still waiting. Then the unthinkable happened....

The power went out. At an Air Guitar competition. Trust me, the irony was lost on nobody.

So after about 10 minutes of waiting we were told that all the businesses on our side of the street had lost power and that the Metro only had "10 minutes of light and OXYGEN left." So we all took one big breath and walked outside. We were told to form a line along the side of the building. I got a prime piece of real estate right behind the performer bus, and soon, all of us waiting Airheads (nice) were met by the night's competitors. I went to this event not knowing what to expect from the people on stage. Imagine my excitement and schoolgirlish glee when I saw these two fine specimens.


LIKE R.KELLY AT A PRESCHOOL!

Earlier in the night I approached a photographer and asked her if she knew anything about competitive air guitar. She didn't. But she did tell me that she was there as part of a film crew working on a documentary about one specific competitor.


NORDIC THUNDER!

I wish I was creative enough to make all of this up.

Finally, around 10:05 the power came back. After we all got back inside, at about 10:30, magic happened.

The show began with this guy, our host for the evening...


HOT LICKS HOULLIHAN, 2006 US AIR GUITAR CHAMPION

He welcomed us to the show and then gave us his own amazing performance.


THAT'S HIS AIR DRUMMER ON THE LEFT AND AIR BASSIST ON THE RIGHT.

Honest to God, he was awesome. It sounds weird, I know, but believe me, it looked like he was playing an invisible guitar.

So after already having my mind officially blown, the competition began. There are no words to describe...


STEVE STEVENSON, COMPETITOR #3

The first two guys were completely drunk and really sucked. But Steve...


HE WAS AWESOME.

Before I continue let me give you the rules of Air Guitar. Each competitor got 60 seconds to rock. Then they were judged on an Olympic Figure Skating scale of 4 to 6. I speak the truth. Continuing...

From there things only got better.


SOLJAR THE DESTROYER. I RODE THE TRAIN HOME WITH HIM EARLIER THAT DAY, NOT KNOWING I WAS IN THE PRESENCE OF GREATNESS.


REMEMBER HIM?


THE ONLY FEMALE OF THE BUNCH, STEVIE LICKS


A TRANSFORMER WHO ROCKED TO "TRANSFORMERS"


KRAZY K. I LIKED HIM. HE WORE A KIMONO. THEN SWEATPANTS. THEN JIGGLED.

I was already overwhelmed by all of the performers. Then the skies got dark. There was a rumbling.


NORDIC THUNDER!!!!
(I think dude's whole high school or something was there because he was rollin' DEEP)

I thought NT had it locked up, but then came...


THE ROCKTOPUS.
He. Was. Awesome.

So after everyone went the judges picked the top five.


5)STEVE STEVENSON 4)VELVET HAMMER(sucked) 3)STEVIE LICKS 2)NORDIC THUNDER 1)THE ROCKTOPUS

After one final showdown, Nordic Thunder was named the winner. But you know who the real winner was? Me. Because I went to an Air Guitar competition. What did you do last night?

Chalk one up to curiosity.

Home Sweet Temporary Living Space

So Tatioey and Ragamuffin got here today. Which meant that we got to sign the lease. Which meant that we could "officially" move in to the apartment. But of course, that was not to immediately be.

First, we had to deal with the landlord. He stopped Joey and I as we were moving stuff in and told us that we weren't actually allowed to be in the place until he got the security deposits from Holly, the subletter(subleaser?).

So we had to wait for Holly to show. While we waited we learned that Michael, the landlord, does not like Holly. That can only mean good things.

So she showed up about 40 minutes later and the 2 of them immediately started fighting. Michael wanted the $1300 security deposit that we gave Holly or else we could not move in to the apartment. Holly would not give it to him because apparently that security deposit was strictly for Holly and her roommates to cover themselves for the $2700 deposit they had already given Michael. So essentially Michael was holding us out of the apartment and demanding money that he was not actually owed. So naturally all of that led to this.....


Holly called in a property dispute. Popo called in the Paddy Wagon.

The cops came and settled everything. Turns out Michael was completely in the wrong and just being a big Dbag to Holly because he doesn't like her. (He told her that he doesn't feel safe with her holding the deposit and if any of her other roommates had been handling it there would not have been a problem.)

Welcome home.

So now we're finally settled in and thankfully facing no legal charges. The system works. Here's our place.


Ragamuffin's Room


Tatioey's Place


Our family room: Computer/TV/DVD player provided by Joey. Entertainment center provided by Holly. Sweet-ass coffee table provided by whoever lives behind us and decided to throw it out.


Ragamuffin's couch (next to the CompTV)


Bathroom, smells like new shower curtains


Pantry, home of the infamous cot. New house rule: If anyone decides to stay at our place, they have to sleep on the cot. That also means they have to sleep in that pantry/guest bedroom.


Kitchen


Sweet deck


My room. Desk provided by same giving neighbor. Note the air mattress with no sheets. They were being cleaned. Ragamuffin peed on my bed.

Sleep tight. And dry.